A Perspective on Death and Loss

If you are reading this, you’ve probably lost someone very close to you. Or maybe you’re just curious to see what my perspective on death and loss is.

The fact is, I did ose someone recently, someone really dear to my heart. Her name was Bina. Bina was one of my most loyal friends for the past 12 years. She was beautiful, funny, and smart. She was a great companion. Bina was my dog. If you care for animals as much as I do, you can probably relate to the type of pain I’m currently experiencing. Bina was a very important part of my life.

Lovely FriendBina gave me all that a dog could give; she was always by my side, she was well behaved, well mannered, patient, cheerful, and always happy to see me when I walked through the door. Bina was a mother, too. She had beautiful puppies and won countless awards for “Best Female Golden Retriever.” She never nipped or barked at my kids when they wanted to explore her ears or play with her paws. She was a true blessing to our family.

One of her favorite places was by the window. She would look out the window for hours. She appreciated everything and anything that happened around her. I’m amazed by how patient she was.

This is the thing, after we lost her yesterday and had our share of crying, I could not stop reminding myself that even though all these feelings are totally normal and understandable, these feelings also come from a place inside of me that is sad for my personal loss. I’m not sad for Bina, I’m sad for me. Because I lost Bina.

Unfortunately as a culture, we are expected to suffer, to cry and to be devastated when someone close to us dies. In our culture there is a presumption that the more suffering, the more love you had for the deceased.

Each one is entitled to their beliefs, so you may or may not agree with me me, which is okay, but:

I do believe there is life after death.

I truly believe our body dies but our soul does not.

I believe being in heaven with the divine is a wonderful place to be.

I strongly believe we will all be given the chance and the choice to come back to this earth and do more good if we desire.

So I asked myself, if heaven and the afterlife are so great, then why I am so sad? Why do I continue to suffer?

So I decided to stop suffering. I decided to be grateful for her presence and allow her to move forward on her journey.

Yes, I’ll miss her eyes. I’ll cherish the time she spent with us. I’ll love her forever. But for my sake, for Bina’s sake, I’m making the choice to release the suffering. I want to allow my heart to feel happiness and gratitude for what was.

Her time with us had clearly ended—and I need to accept that.

“At every moment you have the free choice

to decide who you want to be.” ~ B.D. Schnider

 

I am choosing to be happy, grateful, loved, and blessed for her presence in my life. I’m happy to release her so she can move forward to the next stage of her never-ending journey through a magnificent creation I know I barely understand.

 

I love you Bina, today and always,

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